Irresistible

There are those who have it and there are those who do not.
Some girls emerge from the womb with the natural ability to draw in the male species. They are blood to the shark. Irresistible.
One of my closest girlfriends happens to be one of these enchantingly dangerous creatures.
Everything about her is both sensual and adorable.
With the simplest tilt of her head, she makes grown men swoon. All it takes is a flip of her silky long hair, a glance through her dark lashes, a wave of her tiny fingers, and she slays men by the thousands.
She is dripping with charming comments and flirtatious responses.

And then there are those who do not have this ability. The rest of us poor souls.

We are equally attractive, yet socially inept and more than a touch old-fashioned.
The thought of trying to make small talk sends us scurrying to our house and nailing the doors shut. Our witty comments are so much funnier in our head than spoken aloud and for god's sake what do we do with our hands???
Our hair always goes flat by the end of the night, a piece of our wardrobe always malfunctions, and there is inevitably a smudge of mascara somewhere around our eye.
We get offended at crude jokes, are embarrassed by advances, blurt out the first most humiliating thing that pops in our head.
We knock over glasses of beer, trip over our own feet, look disabled if we try to wink.
We should never ever be allowed near a dance floor. Ever.

My friend is always trying to teach me her ways, truly believing that if I follow her instructions, I will be as wildly popular in attracting the opposite species as her.

"Naomi," she says, exasperated. "It's so easy. Just watch me."

She'll scan the crowded restaurant for her next victim, choosing a cute, bearded bar tender (side note to all you guys out there- beards are super attractive). She gazes at him over her drink as she sips from the straw, leaving behind little red lipstick marks. Her expression is both seductive and contemplative, as if she's casually wondering if he's wearing boxers or briefs but also pondering how the sky is blue.
When she catches his eye she acts as though it were an accident that she was looking at him. She smiles sweetly and wiggles her fingers under her chin in that irresistible wave that magically makes me look like I have a tarantula crawling up my chin when I attempt it.
Within seconds we have a round of shots at our table "on the house."
He is smitten.

Now it's my turn. I make eye contact with a guy in black-rimmed glasses a few tables over. I smile hesitantly and glance down at the table in embarrassment. My friend kicks me.

"Do the wave," she hisses.

As I raise my hand toward my face, my long fingers catch the straw in my water glass and send it flying across the table, sprinkling water all over us.
We bust out laughing, falling on each other in the booth as we giggle over my clumsiness.When I look up, the glasses guy is watching us. He saw the whole incident.
We make eye contact and he grins at me. I blush (because, unfortunately, that's another side effect of "those who don't have it." We turn uncontrollably red at the smallest occasion.).
Later, as he is leaving, he pauses at our table and says,

"You have a pretty smile."

Naturally, I blush again.
And I am grateful, knowing that even if I don't have the seductive gene, I am still irresistible in my own fun-loving-clutsy way.